Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. (Arthur C. Clarke, not me...)

Right now, I am coming down with a bad case of Tivo Anxiety.

Here's the thing - every new innovation that is supposed to make your life more fun/efficient/fulfilling also brings with it a new set of unexpected and unwanted stressors. In this case, I am feeling totally overwhelmed by the number of shows that my trusty Tivo unit has patiently and scrupulously lined up for me to watch.

With a new work schedule, good weather for working outside in the yard, and my attention span decreasing to what seems like 15-second intervals, it is increasingly harder to set aside an hour or two daily to just sit on the couch and veg out watching TV. I have thus become entirely reliant on my Tivo to faithfully record the approximately 15 shows I try to follow - I cannot tell you the last time I watched a show live, with annoying commercials I could not zip past.

This brings up the issue that there is only a finite amount of space available to store shows - eventually, older shows get deleted to make way for new ones. My viewing schedule has thus evolved from when shows are actually broadcast on TV to when the last possible date is that I can see a show before it gets deleted. Trust me, you don't want to be around when I am a day too late to catch the latest "Check, Please".

When it comes to sports, that is a whole different arena of stress. If I know that I have Tivo-ed a Bears game or a NASCAR race, I am like a maniac in terms of not wanting to know what happened. I will avoid reading the newspaper for days, lunge with cat-like quickness to turn the radio channel when they do sports updates, and have to loudly announce to anyone I come in contact with that "I have not seen the game, so please refrain from discussing any part of it - or the results - in my presence, thank you". (And they just thought I was going to say "Hello" or "Good Day"...)

I fear that I am falling farther and farther behind and I will never catch up - I don't know if they successfully finished the journey in "Expedition Africa", if anyone ever 'won' on "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here", or if Jack Bauer eventually caught up to those evil hostage-takers (although, based on his previous track record, I have a sneaking suspicion he did).

So, basically, my mind is just a jumble of open-ended, unfinished story lines at this point.

It's gotten to the point now where I avoid turning on the TV entirely - hoping my Tivo unit can sort through the shows, let me know which were truly the funniest and the most enriching, and set aside an appropriate amount of time in my schedule for me to watch them.

(Oh, and having a bowl of Rocky Road or a box of Reese's Pieces ready for me would also be great.)